Oh how I hate myself sometimes

So there I was surrounded... by smarter people than me. Yes, some of you have these funny little quips, "oh, like that's hard...", "You mean you went to a 5th grade class?"... hardy-har-har.

Yes, by smarter people, I mean - person, and by smarter person I mean - the one interviewing me for the job.

Put it together - I was at a job interview... so much fun. Trying to get someone to hire you based on a piece of paper that you hopefully constructed so it looks OH-SO-THE-SAME as not too stand out as quirky, but UNIQUE enough to make you stand out... It's a contradiction. Ergo, the reason I think my prior cover letter would work.

Anyway, besides that, it feels like I'm defending a thesis that I wrote YEARS ago. Honestly, I don't remember ALL of the classes I took... sorry, my brain doesn't work like that. AND yes, I was in charge of something pretty hard core, but let's be honest, while the main job descriptions stay the same, the problems in the job has far more to do with the politics of the office the higher up you go.

Doing what you are supposed to do: Easy
Doing what you are supposed to do with some tact and team building skills: moderately harder
Doing what you are supposed to WHILE making your boss happy about EVERYTHING: difficult - damn near impossible.

Vice President: "Mr. President, Those assless chaps don't totally make your ass rotund as it makes a powerful statement that you are fearless and constantly looking forward... into the future."

Going on..... I am great because I did this, or I did that... but now I teach 3 year olds and my vocabulary is limited to poop, potty, and "do NOT put that in your mouth!" Try having to do an interview where you can't ever REMEMBER your SAT vocabulary words.... or you mess up dates, or you just can't fucking shut up....

Grr... well, let's just say I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!!

Ok, well today, I noticed something else, having nothing to do with the job interview that I was nervous/anxious/excited about then mortified/scared/bewildered about...

At work.

I change kids (all the time). Believe or not 3 year olds have accidents, especially when they are busy having fun... I digress. (SAT WORD!)

I was waiting for a little girl to go potty (a poopy) and when she finished, it smelled. Bad. So I sprayed the febreeze air sanitizer and cracked the door. Well, it so happens I have to go. So I don't even think about it and go in that same bathroom.
Guess what?
I'm a fan of matches, hell, I'll even say crack the door. But NOTHING makes you gag more than when poop/fart smell is SWEETENED with some air freshener like THAT makes it better. Already, your nose doesn't know what to do.

Nose: Do I like this? It's sweet and revolting like the black smelly marker.
Brain: You know what it is, it's poop, with splenda....
Nose: I know but it smells like cinnamon with musk...
Brain: IT'S POOP!!!!!!!!
Nose: I hear you, I just...
Brain: I hate you.
Nose: I hate myself.

Exactly.