Return to the computer

So there I was surrounded... by my real life ignoring my computer.

I've been noticing a few things about being small... y'know just those things I have to deal with in everyday life that no "real-size" person thinks of...

Being small is a little hard.

Things I noticed at Disney World:

1) You get a sly check by the people who have to make sure you are tall enough for the ride. Yeah. A SLY check because when they look at me, they find out I'm not 10 years old and jumping off walls.... I'm 28 and jumping off walls, so I could be dangerous.

2) When you go into a restaurant (this happens NOT at Disney world too), you're asked "Kid menu?"

Like this one time, I was at olive garden with my sister and her husband. We were waiting (as you always do there) and they finally called our name. Well, I'm busy (of course checking my facebook status) and the guy asks "kid menu?".... I look up and squint my eyes in a defensive manner, and he immediately goes "or not..."

Ok, now, with a mistake like that, though some could skew it as, "you look so young" "its a compliment" uh NO. He looked at my face and was like, that's a short woman, not a kid. Which means MY FACE looks old.

Fuck you dude, give me a child's spaghetti and a pinot noir STAT!!!

3)Automatic toilets are the devil.

Ok, we all have had the occasional, the-toilet-will-flush-on-its-own-for-no-reason scenario, which is both a little scary and gross. For all you guys out there, women do the hover on most bathrooms because, let's face it: I don't want to share ass germs with someone I don't know (but if I know you, it seems ok).

For me however, this becomes a bit of a contortionist's nightmare. I must keep my back up so the toilet won't flush on me, while making sure I'm steady enough to pee (which is difficult if the toilet seat is major high for those giants we live along side of), AND get toilet paper from the toilet roll 3 feet away.... (a bit of an exaggeration, but not really when 6 inches might as well be three feet away). AND just so we don't forget, this exact situation happened at Disney World, where innocent children have to repeatedly fight this unfortunate monster!

Yes, in my wisdom, I have figured out how to combat this evil demon... but it occasionally still gets me beat. I must then take the extra step at home to clorox my ass.

Things I notice at Rock concerts (because I was at one last night)/clubs:

1) If you fart, I smell that shit first and it pisses me off.

2) I am eye level with most cups and no, after 28 years, it's not funny pretending my head is a coaster, you aren't original... just like it's not funny when I puke on your shoes, at least I am original....

3) Yes people, the bouncers let me in, stop staring.

On a side story, I find it interesting to watch people in situations where there are tons of people, because they think there is some anonymity in a crowd and forget there are people like me watching you.

At the concert last night (coheed and cambria), I had to go to the bathroom, so I made my way around a ton of people. I noticed a peculiar thing. There was a girl fighting with her boyfriend outside the bathroom... ok, not a huge deal. Then I was coming back and passed a couple, that was bickering "stop pushing me, I'm going..." y'know the kind. Then I passed another couple, where the girl was sitting there and the guy was like, "I don't get it, what the fuck is your problem"...

I get back and I'm like, "whoa, there are some major anger issues out there. You are at a concert that you paid money for and you guys are busy arguing, that sucks, I'm glad I'm not you... I got back, laughed a little with him about all those "stupid fighting couples"

Then I noticed something. I wanted to punch my boyfriend.

Me: Hahaha, those stupid couples....
Dev: Yeah, I'm really glad we aren't like that. Oh here's the rest of my coke.
Me: ::throwing my hands up:: WHAT THE FUCK DEVIN?!

I think it was the music.

I know I kinda went off topic, but if you take anything away from this remember:

Be aware of your surroundings, short people have noses too.