Why being a girl is hard

I'm sick and tired of the battle of the sexes and how guys are like, girls get it easy... etc. The reason I was thinking about this is because I was waxing. Yes, Hair on girls is apparently disgusting... Why do I do it? Because I'm used to it. Because I fall into the social norms of what is pretty. I will say though, I'll wax any guys hoo-hoo and that'll be enough for you to just get over the battle of the sexes. Trust me. It's not because you have more hair that it's painful. In fact, the skin gets numb after awhile. In case you are wondering how painful it can be, check out 40 year old virgin when all he did was his nipple.

I'll start with the few things that guys say girls get away with:
1) Speeding tickets - I will have to say this one is true because of the one time I got away with it. However, this will be null and void later. And no I did NOT cry...

Picture this: I'm driving along in Speedy (which for those of you that remember, my 1981 green volvo, yes older than me) and the tail lights are out. I had NO idea. Cop behind me. There goes the sirens... freakin great. Cop pulls up and my registration - NO JOKE - two years out of date. How did that happen? It was my dad's car, and he LEFT the country... I do end up crying to my dad who honestly made me feel worse.... not in front of the cops though.

Copper: License and registration please.
Me: Here...
Copper: This is like two years out of date...
Me: WHAT?! Are you serious? Are you freakin serious?!? This is my DAD's car, he lives in Romania - he didn't update the registration?!?! Omigod...
Copper: Yeah... I'll be right back. (Copper goes back to talk to his buddy - something is up I can tell. Copper returns.)
Copper: Is this you?
Me: Yes.
Copper: Umm... are you really 4'8''?
Me: Yeah, really.
Copper: Wow...
ME: Would you like me to step out of the car officer?
Copper: Really?! If you wouldn't mind....
I step out of the car, do a little turn. Copper turns to his buddy and points at me, and the buddy starts laughing. I'm thinking, "I'm getting a ticket and being made fun of, this tops one of the best days ever...."
Copper: Wow, thanks. Ummm... I'm going to let you off easy. I'm just going to say this was a non-traffic violation but we've got to leave first k?
Me: really? yeah, ok.

This has nothing to do with me being female and everything to do with my carnie height.

2) Ladies night. Really guys. Let's be honest. In the whole animal kingdom, the guys are supposed to be impressing us. This at least gives us free drinks, while you strut your stuff. You don't have to BUY us drinks. We still have to wear high heels, make-up and shave. You don't even have to shave.

3) Paid maternity leave - I will kill anyone who says we don't deserve this... Stretch your special parts to the point they rip and an alien comes out.... you'd need some time too.

4) Girls get laid easier. Ummm, yeah. Because if something should happen, we are going to have 9 months to regret it and a child that looks like YOU. You had better look good. If I have to primp... yeah YOU had better too.

If you want, I'll wax your nipple for free. :)