Love sucks

So there I am surrounded by rom-com trailers... and I realize something. This is bullshit.

Yeah, I said it and I'll say it again!

I'm a FAN - a huge fan of romance novels... not even kidding. I like romance novels with strong female characters and stupid boys. So what? But if I have to watch another nicholas sparks movie, so help me GOD, I'm going to rip off his head and fill it with jelly. I don't want to see real life love - it sucks, I know it. Anyone who's dated knows it, why would i want to WATCH it on the big screen? I get tension, I get issues, but seriously...

I spent a glorious weekend with my baby sister and we sat and watched "The Notebook" the freaking quintessential romance movie for those blubbery-faced fools who like to cry at movies... I don't hate it because it's not a good story. I hate it because all you see is THEIR LOVE. The beginning I like...

BUT Dude, *spoiler alert* her mom is a major bitch that hid 365 LETTERS from her daughter! then the main character just forgives her because she said she was sorry! THEN she dumps her fiance to follow her heart... dude, she lied to her fiance, then she cheated on her FIANCE, THEN he totally just lets her go and you don't see the part about how they have to get their deposits back, or how he's off crying, or how her friends are going to react to her cheating/leaving... then she's got Alzheimer's, and he's literally dying of a broken heart?!?! How is this a fucking feel good romance story? because they DIE TOGETHER?!

If you say it's sweet, I'll find you and force you to eat as much mayonnaise as I can stuff in your mouth - it's depressing.

All romantic comedies/dramas seem to have an air of lying... so far from what I've seen or something SO out of left field that it is unbelievable OR ends badly.
1. Ten things I hate about you - Lies (but i actually like this movie because the girl is a bitch)
2. How to loose a guy in ten days - Lies (and fucked up)
3. Pretty woman - a whore that wins a millionaires heart? "Mommy I want to be a streetwalker")
4. Simply Irresistible - uh, magic
5. Brokeback Mountain - hello Death. (yes, this is a story of romance you homophobic jerkheads)
6. Titanic - Dies
7. the graduate - steals the bride
8. Casablanca - Freaking LEAVES....
9. Corina corina/Othello/O - racial tension and this is the WORST kind... poke me in the eyes lemon drops... I feel so terrible that most of the time I'll never watch it again.
10. Romeo and Juliet - BOTH die.

Whatever, I can go on and on, so I looked-up some movies, top 50 based on the New York times... guess what?

Our generation doesn't have that many listed. And it makes totally sense. Our version of love is like Snookie in South Park banging everything in sight.

Action films, I get the tension. You're about to die - you want to have sex - I see it as a natural progression... Sci-fi movies, it's weird to begin with and I'm totally into it. I'm just sick of love being in the air and all over television when I want to see something that makes more sense. The only movie I can think of that fills my romance need without my gag reflex is When Harry Met Sally. It showed the progression, the pain of breaking up, then heartache, but it didn't show death, destruction of a life, or magic. It showed to smart ass people getting along.

Now, I tell you. WHY are these movies grossing so much money? I know why guys hate them, now ladies, as much as you want to believe, why are you paying $11 to see a movie you can just rewatch on the Bachelor? (I also hate that show)

Urgh... sorry to all my readers. I'm just not feeling the love today.