God thinks jokes on me are hilarious

H'ok so... this is a boring blog, but i have only two things to talk about: bleeding dog eyes and large nose

I actually went outside yesterday and Saturday. Oh yeah, out of my sweats and put JEANS on.

Oh, and I went to a party on Sat. night. I won't go into the boring details but at the end of the night there was a hilarious game of categories.... I can't tell you how funny it is to try to explain the game "questions" to a drunk guy 3 different times, 3 different ways WITH examples (i.e. What time is it?) and have him answer it EVERYTIME, even when we gave him a question... THEN he gets mad because he thinks we are fuckin with him and that we made up the game and changed the rules.

OK - bleeding eyes: I took my dog to the vet. I had to, but was happy to do it because it wasn't that cold out. That was when i started THEN I get to BFE (I live in Prague six - and it's across the river and through Prague 1 to get to Prague 10)... by the time I got there it was snowing... I was lucky, it wasn't sticking but it was still FREAKin cold. Well, I hurry my flabby little ass to the vet's office. I swear it took me less than 5 min off the bus to the office and guess what? they are closed for lunch for another 53 minutes... yeah 53. So now my butt's cold and my dog is bored. so I walk Max around... for 53 minutes... they do not open the door a SECOND earlier... (oh, and there were other people waiting and because I was there first but NOT SEEN first, I didn't get served first.) So I did what I needed to do, and played cuttsys. Yeah I pushed my way in, WITHOUT an appointment. Hell, even if they yelled at me I wouldn't understand but I was like dude, I've been freezing my ass off for FIFTY THREE minutes. Well, Max was seen and had his eyes looked at - which of course it was the red dye again. So I leave with my dog having bad allergies and red eyes. I swear the looks I got....

Picture this: Max, old cow looking dog with a happy smile with his tongue sticking out and bleeding red eyes. Yes, I probably would've scared young children had I seen any. Mainly people just kept staring at him... they didn't even look at me - it was like my dog was possessed and they couldn't look away.... He was like prancing because he's smelling all sorts of pungent lack of deo kinds of things with his creepy bleeding eyes... and because the snow was coming down and we kept going in places (like the bus, the train etc.) the snow would melt and his eyes would drip the red dye... onto the floor... so his creepy bleeding eyes were dripping onto the floor... hilarious to watch other people..."omigod, that dog is bleeding out of his eyes and his owner is barely 15 years old and doesn't even notice... omigod, it's on the floor... so gross"

:)

Which brings me to my version of possessed: I was riding on the bus home (with the dog) and a lady got on with these super cute kids. Three little girls. I mean super cute kids, with like cute hats and everything. I looked up and BAM! the longest nose I have ever seen on a woman. I tried not to stare but I couldn't help it. I'm glad I was at the back of the bus and she wasn't paying attention. Her nose was seriously as long as my pointer finger and her nostril, NO JOKE, had to be 3/4 inch to an inch long. LONG not wide... it was not wide, but long. although it did have slight bulbous action going on at the end. I stared until I got off, and then I daydreamed about it all the way home... were those kids hers? Those kids didn't have big noses? I wonder what her nose to body ratio is? What kind of names did they use to make fun of her? Does it get in the way when she kisses? Has she broken it before.... how many times did it take? I know I'm going to hell for that one... but seriously. I'm still thinking about it.

Now, I must go because I have to buy food to feed myself with... Apparently, this is something most people do that I'm not accustomed to doing anymore.

So that's my story, bleeding eyes and a nose with it's own ecosystem.