I was lit on fire... TWICE

Ok, this week has been CRAZY. By that I mean, I left my house 3 times!! to go out!

1st day: I went out with my friend Tom to Old Town square because they have Easter shops set up. We hung out and had dinner with my mom. It was fun, my mom had cow tongue... EWWWW.... AND SHE LIKED IT! I will say it did not look like the tongue I've seen... I just really wasn't into "trying it". I mean, she was EATING TONGUE. Then Tom and I went to a Blues club. It was cool but I guess he'd taken a date there earlier in the week so he was a little weirded out (I was the OTHER girl). It was a good time, we laughed alot. We went home fairly early - he had to work... yeah, that excuse is getting old FROM everyone! "Oh look at me, I have a job - I make money, I have responsibility... I don't lay on the couch all day... blah blah blah" :)

ANYWAY, I have a Czech friend here who's name is Marek, and it was his birthday the next day. SO I went to dinner with everyone... well dinner led to drinks and then to dancing. Well, low and behold, I'm the only girl that went out again.... My mother had gone out with her friend Heidi that night so I wasn't especially worried about waking mom up when I got home. She had the car and I gave her my keys so she'd be able to get into the house.

Well, I get a phone call about 2:30am and its my mom. She says she's tired and she doesn't want to drive home... I was still out and about but still... I was like, ok, I have nowhere to sleep - awesome. So what did I do? I just stayed out drinking. Well, it sounded like a good idea at the time.

So we go to this dance club, this littler guy was hitting on me, so my friend was cock blocking. I felt bad but not that bad. There were like 2 guys getting more and more wasted... so of course we ordered shots. Absinthe - which is NOT good and NOT fun to take and NOT worth it. So I take one. There were 6 guys and me taking this terrible shot. The bartender chick thought it woule be AWESOME if she lit them on fire. SIX shots with a bunch of DRUNK people...

We all toast and before I knock my shot against anyone's I blow mine out... well NO ONE ELSE DOES. TWO guy had their fingers on fire. ONE of them spilled the shot on the floor - SO NOW THE FLOOR IS ON FIRE. I have a mixed drink (Vodka tonic and lime) and I'm staring at it - it is right next to my foot. I actually stared at it thinking, "will my drink set it more on fire or help the situation..." Another guy tried putting it out by stomping and ended up getting his shoe on fire...

Meanwhile two things happened: 1) luckily, a guy spilled his beer on the floor to smother it.
2) I felt my arm get hot and looked down... MY HAIR WAS BURNING OFF MY ARM. This is one of those times, I REALLY hate being short and having gravity go against me. apparently one of the other guys decided to toast the shot while still on fire, and casually spilt FIRE LIQUID on my arm not noticing....

I am like shit, so I wipe my arm and it instantly went out. My arm was ok, the hair was burned but no permanent damage. I look at my friend who has a blister on his finger and then my LEG is on fire. WHAT THE HELL?! So I am like how is my leg on fire but my jeans are completely fine? Well I put out that fire too... Another guy burnt his fingers pretty bad, but I was too busy BEING ON FIRE to notice the other idiots and their fire stories.

So we like stay another 10 minutes then head out. We go to another bar, I'm handed another drink and we go downstairs to listen to some DJ. I was so stoked I found a chair. Then one of the guys I was with (I am pretty sure now he is the fire starter), started puking right next to my chair. A LOT. LIKE MORE THAN I'VE EVER DONE. Again, we were like, ok, we can't stay here either. FINALLY, we start heading home - but wtf... I can't get IN MY HOUSE. Mom is asleep when I call so even if I can get home (which I usually do), I can't break into my own house.

I end up sleeping at "the house" (all of you guys, that is code), which of course gets another guy in trouble and starts rumors that I am sleeping around. My mom comes at picks me up in the afternoon, and now feels bad because of boy drama. Luckily, I have cleared it up since then - but dude, really?

Oh, the last night I went out to a Cuban restaurant and there was no dancing, I was disappointed and forced my neighbor to stay out till 4am...

Recap:
1) My mom ate cow tongue so technically, she's gotten to first base with a cow
2) At some Blue's bar, they think Tom is a hoe.
3) Don't take absinthe shots
4) Don't take absinthe shots especially on fire
5) Don't take absinthe shots on fire with drunk people
6) Being on fire sucks
7) Being on fire TWICE sucks more
8) Don't trust the guy who took the shots, burned you and threw up next to your chair
9) If you sleep on the couch, you should wear a sign that says, "this is me, sleeping on the couch NOT having sex"
10) Margaritas are awesome.

This is Athena - still alive, with one hairless arm.