We're all still babies

I'm sorry I haven't written in awhile guys... its just... well I'm boring most of the time.

My mom is gone for the week because of family. It's amazing how shit goes down and then all of a sudden your mother, who destroys the kitchen when she cooks and leaves papers EVERYWHERE so that your home looks like it just went through a hurricane that only effected your house, becomes that super hero you remember as a kid. I don't think it matters how old you are, you just well, want mommy to fix it. Oh, and its not bad enough that YOU think she's going to fix it but YOUR DAD is pretty sure she can fix it too. It boggles my mind because, let's be honest, sometimes I'm a pretty good thinker, but I detach from reality and think, as long as she's there nothing bad is going to happen. I'm not sure what my mom can do - besides cure cancer with her breakfast burritos - but I just KNOW she can do it.

Which leads me to my next weird connection, I started thinking about babies. I know all of you know I'm terrified of being pregnant - not so much the devotion of the rest of my life to a living being that will go through puberty and amount me to the dumbest thing on the plant - but the growing a living thing in MY UTERUS. I've discussed this with a few of you, but let me reinforce the fears once again: FAT ankles = growing feet, morning sickness without the fun time of the previous night, ummm... NO drinking (martinis, margaritas, shots, OR wine... yeah not even wine... grrr), sushi, limiting my coffee intake (assholes), HEMRRHOIDS - God, thinks this one is funny... I say nay... that is just mean to add another problem hole, and finally, the actually birthing process which if any of you have seen... super gross. Like wow, i'm going to throw up watching this, how can my body even survive a beating like that? I've never understood how people think its beautiful just because its "the miracle of life." From a scientific perspective, yeah, super crazy building a small being in your belly, but lets be honest, it's not something you will ever look dignified doing and it's probably foul smelling too.... just sayin' I'm not a fan of this whole birthing process God created... I personally think the cabbage patch idea was the blue ribbon winner.

Going on to my DREAMS of babies. I had a dream, Torri and I were babysitting baby Emma. I won't tell you the shennanigans we went through (because it's a dream and really, i have no idea how half of them happened) but I did want to tell you it was halloween and we dressed Emma in the CUTEST costumes. ONE - a glow worm... yes, it is as cute as you are picturing it... except she was like a FAT glow worm, two - i think it was a flower that we pulled on red wagon and the last i believe was super girl (which I was for halloween) and disappointingly enough, she was cuter in MY outfit.

Then LAST night, I had another dream I was teaching the ABCs and how to spell kids names... I have some awesome ideas. I don't know guys, does this mean I want babies... or just have them magically appear?

Ok, it needs to be noted that while I'm writing this post, three dogs are jumping on me and wanting me to play and I'm completely ignoring them... i know I'll be a great parent now, I've got the ignoring thing down.... wait did I remember to feed them?