Traveling… oh the things I’ve seen

This little travel adventure has not been very adventurous. I have noticed a few things that give me pause and make me feel, to be honest, a bit uncomfortable… I know you are wondering, what in the hell could make Athena feel uncomfortable, she likes to walk around naked, she gets drunk and falls all over herself, she’s not shy about puking… the list goes on.. What? WHAT COULD IT BE??!?!
Toilet paper. I ate KFC at the airport (it was delicious though I could almost literally feel the grease killing me slowly) and was given some napkins. They were the softest paper napkins on the planet… Ok OK, maybe just Prague. If you ever go potty in Prage, they have this brown sandpaper that really just makes you feel like you violate yourself when you wipe. You pray that you only have to do a once-over and NEVER ever have to do a twofer… I was sitting here wondering why Col. Sanders understands that I need softness to wipe my mouth after ingesting enough calories to make an elephant gain weight, but the entire country in Prague has no idea that my “special places” deserve the same kind of treatment.
THEN I get on the plane… The place that offers you drinks like every two hours and noticed that there, they had ONE ply toilet paper. Yes, its like peeing in your hands when you wipe. It’s gross and it’s NOT economical – girls know that you triple or quadruple that shit because you don’t want shit on your hands (literally or otherwise). I mean if they invested in some quality toilet paper, I would not only not need to use as much, but my tushy would really appreciate that someone thought of her and her very special needs. How can this be so hard? I mean, everyone has to go… I would think this would be on the top of the list for customer service. IN FACT, the next time I go to a restaurant and they have you know some real quality toilet paper, I may have to just tell the manager how appreciative my vajayjay is that he invested in quality toilet paper. It seems like such a little thing, but it makes a huge difference.
Well, now I have a layover that is like 3 hours long so I decided to watch babies. Yes, I LOVE FAT CHUBBY BABIES! But watching kids seriously is better than watching like obese people fighting over the last twinkie. This is why, so I’m sitting there watching this one little boy we’ll call grandma’s boy. He was looking for his grandmother. She was like hiding behind a post or something… but this kid seriously started to get scared and almost walked out of the terminal and since grandma was hiding – she didn’t see it till he was almost out of eyesight. I thought of yelling, “You’re kid is running into the abyss!” but instead, I just watched granny freak out… I say 1 kid 0 grandma.
Which made me catch the attention of another kid called Dylan aka “hellboy.” His mom was at the front desk talking I guess, not really paying attention to him… and he’s being a kid, running around his stroller – well this other lady had another stroller with like a 4 month old in it, now SHE’S not paying attention either because hell boy looks at this other kid and kinda smacks him in the tummy (not hard, I would have said something) but enough to wake the baby up. Well, the mom continues on and the baby now is shaking its arms in anger and disgust that he was disturbed and the mother has no idea why the kid is crying. Meanwhile, hellboy notices and no joke, he jumps into his stroller like nothing happened. Now, after watching this kid for about 40 min afterward… his mom should’ve known something was up. This is ran in circles for 30 min AT LEAST while I was sitting here – to the point where he was beet red and panting. He even stole the stroller from his mom and pushed it in a circle too… Now his mother was like, you want some pizza… ok this kid is like 3 years old running around going crazy, hitting random children and mom thinks that MAYBE he needs more energy instead of some, I don’t know, tranquilizers… so she goes, (like an idiot) “let’s sit down and have some pizza”. Now, I already know hellboy is working mom, he wants the pizza but he’s not sitting down – no way. He gets the pizza and jets to the window putting pizza slime on the window. His mom just chasing after him… I’m all for letting kids have freedom – but I’d have smacked a bitch. Just sayin.
While I did enjoy the whole watching mom get tortured by hellboy, I started to reminisce about how childhood friendships used to go.
Dick: Hey , sometimes I pee my pants
Jane: Me too.
Dick: Let’s be best friends
Jane: OK.
I miss that, I guess we have different ways of making friends now but still… ok gotta go. We are boarding.