Boring Blog...

So.... I'm back in the US. Driving is a must... which I haven't done for three months. Yes, I freaked out on Devin because he pushed on the brakes a little too hard WHILE looking for music on his MP3 player... Ok, he had like 10 feet, ok, I had a seat belt on, ok, I white knuckled the "oh shit" bar... I felt a little psycho but I'm a girl on the edge...

Onward, so today had a chik fil a sangwhich. It was DELICIOUS so I ordered two. I didn't eat to but I wanted the option y'know (refer to blog where Americans love fast food). This was important because I needed my title and my driver's license update and sustenance. There is nothing better than a dry buttery chicken biscut with a medium coffee and hazelnut creamer to make your day start out right... I know, now you are thinking, "Oh god, the DMV... this is going to be good." Well, sorry. No.

I went to the DMV and it was like I entered a very efficient gate to Heaven, like the restaurant version of Heaven. Let me explain, while Good Ol' Saint Peter might be able to say yes or no, what about the in-betweeners, what if they want options or y'know needed to learn to parallel park... they have to go somewhere. just follow me DON'T JUDGE MY ANALOGY.

Well, apparently that is the front desk at the DMV. You have to go there first: like the hostess... She/he (I'm pretty sure she was a she) gives you a number. Well, there is like almost no way to figure out how long the line is going to be, BUT there are 20 stations open and people are moving quite quickly. Like Heaven, you can't use debit/credit cards... you have to deal with cash only or a check (meaning, your soul has to be on you OR your bank gets your soul)... hell, the bank always gets your soul...

ANYWAY, so I sat there enjoying the clean area, the not so long wait just to be told that I couldn't update my title (because I didn't have proof of insurance) or my ID (because I didn't have proof of residency) but I didn't mind because the lady was nice and informative. "Welcome, oh, I'm so sorry, y'know that one time you got drunk and streak across Landis.. yeah, you're gonna need the paperwork from your priest saying you said 20 hail mary's. Thank you so much - come again"

Hell came when we were driving home. There was like all this traffic and, anyone that knows me knows 1) I am a curse when it comes to lines (thank you God, I get it - MAYBE I should donate my time to the less fortunate instead of memorizing the dialogue to Lord of the Rings):

If you are in the fast line with me, you'll have a price check for 9 of the 10 items and then the person pays with nickels. I'm cursed (as is my father). I know when I go anywhere that involves a line (including fast food) I have to be there at least 30 min because I'm screwed.

2) I fucking hate traffic. I would rather take flaming shot and spray it on my arm, and I've done it.

WELL some person DECIDED to get in a fight with a telephone pole that controlled 15 square blocks... great... it took Dev and I 15 minutes to practically get out of the neighborhood... just to go back and get a temporary license plate. (Not a real one mind you, a temp...)

My second trip though longer was a bit more interesting. There was this little black kid who kept hitting his head on counter. It was kinda fun to watch and then he FREAKED out and started acting like a dinosaur for 3 seconds. Literally. Then started banging his head again. And like a good mother, his mom had no reaction. Didn't even notice. Kid slaps head against counter, becomes zombie boy (for 3 seconds), then returns to brain damage. Good job timmy.

Ok, I'll end this blog, it's stupid.

Oh and that asshole that wrecked the power lines - I hope he got electrocuted and then his nuts caught on fire.

Ok, now I'm done.

P.s. 2 whiskey cokes, 1 vodka pinapple, 1 margarita. It's a good day.
Thanks God.