No, its ok.... I'm with the band.

So there I was surrounded.... by a loud speaker system. You are thinking this is about music, don't you?
Nay, my friend.
Those speakers were attached to my sister's television - which is awesomeness. I got to thinking about how much TV I actually watch, and let me tell you... one would think I had no social life with the amount of television I not only watch, but KNOW. I mean like ESP.

Let me explain. See, I've got a few shows that I absolutely love. I'll name a few: Firefly (canceled and FOX I'm still upset about it), criminal minds, the closer, Law & Order (old school, which I'm ok with the cancellation even though its like losing long lost babysitter), Law & Order SVU, the Good Wife, Castle, House, Grey's Anatomy, and Lie to me... like I said - just to name a few. Going on, well, my family is pretty hardcore about our shows. (Yeah, I joke that my family are like olympian couch potatoes..... but its so true - like, we really could win something)

ANYWAY, I have rules and little things that may seem weird to the normal folks, but to me make absolute sense:
1. Don't call me during my show and expect me to hold a conversation. Yes, I'll pick up the phone, but then be P.O.d that you called me. Don't ask why.
2. When I pick up and tell you my show is on, I expect the following:
a. You to understand.
b. You to keep the conversation less than 15 seconds. "Hi, love you, talk to you later, uh-huh, bye" (The PERFECT CONVERSATION during a show.)
c. You to wait for the commercial break. I'll call you during the commercial break but will hang up mid-sentence if my show comes back on and you are talking too much. "Really? are you ok? do you need me to... do you... nope gotta go, shows back on"
3. If people are over and they are talking during my show, I will mute the show and read the captions - completely ignoring you/people. (My roommates could not believe this ability until it happened.... repeatedly.) AND I slant my eyes at them when i can spare it, (I'm watching in caps, I can't really look away).

Ok, now it's a little weird, but I'm better than SOME people.... I won't name names, but the person who is related to me and lives with me - gets so annoyed with background noise she will PAUSE the show, regardless of who is watching it and if they have the ability to ignore everything else.
Or my most favorite female who gave birth to me pretends she's listening to you while watching her show and completely starts making comments that have no relevance. "well, you know how that goes" or "That's craziness"... no mom, me telling you i love you is not that crazy.... (LOVE YOU!)

Now you ask: WHY? Why spend so much time in front of a TV? Why invest so much emotion into a written script? Why pretend like the show matters? Why hasn't my ass become completely flat?


No one knows - I'm a freak of nature.

But serial .... i think it's because of this: "I'm with the band" mentality.

I get so wrapped into a show - I'm like THERE. I mean, I watch criminal minds and I'm part of the team! "Hotch, dude, I really think we should hold on to this profile, something is not sitting with me right" And when I'm right and they are slow - I'm like, DUDE I TOLD YOU!!! Yeah, and I feel like I should heckle my teammates for slowing the show down.
Or I'll watch another show, like Lie to Me, and study the faces like I'm a student and then make my guesses.... but yeah, I'm trying to read faces...
OR like Law and Order, I really do figure out what the motivations are and what questions the detectives need to ask... and again, get annoyed when i'm ahead of the game. "Come on guys.... that was TOO predictable... you know better, that guy looked totally creepy" "HULLO, a bit character played by a well known actress? Of course, she's the killer!"

In a strange way, these characters are my buddies in helping fight crime. I'm a crime fighting, puzzle solving, quick witted side kick that can eat while she's doing it!!!!! I get SO happy when I solve a case, hell even when I'm wrong all the way through and the case gets solved - I still get that feeling of completion. "TAKE THAT YOU DIRT BAG!"

No gonna lie, sometimes, it just feels good to beat the characters out of the big arrest or big confession or I'd say big disease (but honestly, I've never actually solved a House case, he's so wily). But you get the picture.


i'm there with them, making the televised world a better, safer place to live. Little Timmy would thank me for Lassie and I putting our brains together to find him in that well. I'm just saying maybe my television watching is a powerful tool. I mean, wouldn't you want me on your crime fighting team?