Hello Gandhi!

Let's try this again my loyal readers, this is not my best blog, but I would like you to know that I HAVE done stuff.

I decided I will write about the highlights of Devin's trip instead of a play by play mainly because 1) i'm super lazy 2) I forgot a lot.

Ok, we did the normal things, the Charles Bridge, The astrological clock, the palace, the museum by the bridge a few tourist traps... we even did a boat ride.

First, the torture museum. Now, this is not so much a Devin thing as it is an "Athena's obsession with the abnormal psyche of humans." Dev thought it was completely a waste of money while I stared and the spiky chair imagining where those spikes would actually GO. To be honest, not a lot of it was new to me but I was disturbed none the less. Like a chastity belt with a small pee hole? Really? Though they had a male chastity belt that was completely fake... there was no way his member would fit perfectly inside the little metal... thingy they had. Just sayin' NOT that men would ever have to put up with such suffering...

Well, we got a two-fer out of the deal and got to go to wax museum.

Yes, I met Gandhi. And Devin finally got a picture with the Pope and of course I heckled Bill Clinton and Dev took an inappropriate picture with the back of my head where his...y'know. HE WAS STANDING on something - it was not intentional on my part. Shit, this sounds like the Lewinsky scandal all over again... Oh and Mozart, short guy - just sayin NOT attracted to the guy.



Ok, so we also had a boat ride. Y'know that scene in Wayne's World where the security guard gives WAY too much info... that's what I felt like. Not in a bad way, I just expected a river trip to give us a little background on the buildings along the way, some historical fun pointless facts about building bridges and crap. Dude, our boat guide was a freakin scholar. He gave us the background from WWII, stats of Jews before and after, what the czech govt did for reparations, the cost of buying a place back then and now... it was crazy.

Did you know?
That the Germans took over Prague and drove on the opposite side of how the Czech's drove, and so many accidents resulted in that change, Hitler came to Prague to announce that everyone will drive on the right side... (though they did not make major changes to roads until later)

That the Czech people spent MILLIONS of dollars and YEARS building a marble statue with 4 people on each side and Stalin in the middle (that from the pictures was like at least 5 stories high, yeah the boat guy showed us pictures)and it stood like less than a year before it was destroyed because Stalin was given negative press...

That before WWII the population of Jewish people in Prague was 20%, and after it was less than .1% Yes, he said POINT 1. (Yet, thankfully for them their oldest Synagogue still stands at 700 years old).... p.s. it's called The Old-New synagogue. No joke. (p.p.s. We did the whole Jewish quarter - and it was interesting, though I would not recommend it tipsy... as Dev and I were. It sobers you up REAL fast, there is some serious Jewish shit going down.)

Ok, enough of a history lesson.

So we went to this bar after our little boat trip and there was this bar I looked up called Aloha bar, because really? can you go wrong with that?

Apparently you can. It was dead. So dead... I'm going to hell for this quip, but I had a LOT of Jewish history and I said, "I'm about excited to be here as Anne Frank." Yup, straight down.

Dev was better, he just said, I can't wait till my hangover. This place might possibly be the worst mid-day drink place IN the world. Imagine going to a place expecting y'know flowers, ukulele, maybe a surf board... no you walk in and the dementor's are the only ones having a good time. When we left, we had no souls.

Anyway, so we THEN went to George and the Dragon in old town and found a couple that was AWESOME who explained cricket to me. By the way, so complicated AND it can last for 3 days... Dev ordered a pitcher of beer for himself and I kept the mojitos going. We took shots, got wasted and went home... there were some jokes but I can't remember them. Cricket - I say nay. We would have preferred Quidditch. I get that game.

Now maybe you are wondering - why is she making all these Harry Potter references? BECAUSE I got a hat for GRYFFINDOR!!!! Yeah I wear it, I wore it outside. It's my JAM! Don't hate, it's more amazing then Lindsay Lohan being sober.