I startle myself into submission

So there I was... surrounded by the chill of the early morning on the coldest day in Florida in 10 years. (No, I'm not sure about that, but it was FREAKIN cold.) Anyway, so I'm making my coffee and my yummy toaster waffles in this freezing weather. My coffee was started and finished first because let's be honest, toaster waffles take 2 minutes tops. I'm minding my own business stirring this delicious creamer (Italian creme if you are so interested) waiting for the pop of the toaster.

waiting... take a sip....
waiting... take a sip....
waiting... take a *POP* "Omigod"

Yup, spilled coffee all over my face, almost burned my eyebrows off.. its a good thing my eyes are lighting quick in closing or my friends, I could be blinded. That would not only suck because now I'm blind, but I'm blind and it's self-inflicted, no wait, I'm blind, it's self-inflicted AND it was a freak hot coffee accident. There is no way to live down that story. Like ever.

Just in case you were wondering, yes, that woke me up and no longer felt cold due to the adrenalin rush the popping of the waffle sent through my body.

Anyway, which brings me to the topic of startling myself. Everyone knows I hate getting scared. I find practical jokes, not funny - even mean. I find scary movies unsettling, and yes, my subconscious still works against me (I get nightmares). I've dealt with this, so I oft wonder (yes, I said oft, instead of often because I'm changing my vocabulary... it'll catch on, watch - mayhaps did)... so I oft wonder if I should blame my parents for this fear of fearing things... Going on, I hate getting scared because I can scare myself just fine without pyrotechnics, digital mastery of any kind, and masks. Some things are worse when you know they are coming.

Let me explain:
First story: (THIS IS A SPOILER FOR A REALLY OLD MOVIE) So I was watching a movie on USA at a friend's house, called Deep Blue Sea where this shark has the brain of a smart person, no not really a horror movie hence why I was watching it, anyway, there is this scene where Samuel L. Jackson does this whole Braveheart speech moment... you know, where there should be a slow clapper in the background. I'm kinda like, "ok, I get it, let's get this fucking fish"... not, one second later, the SHARK FLIES OUT OF THE WATER AND SWALLOWS SAMUEL L. JACKSON WHOLE! It scared the bejezzus out of me! So much so, I screamed, jumped, and somehow turned the TV off in one movement. Wrecked the movie for everyone else because they were watching it too, but they were laughing at me because I scared them more than the actual scene... whatever.

Second story: I like to read. Books don't usually scare me. I can get into a book and see it in my head like a movie. I love it when it happens because the hours just pass by and its so much more intense. So I'll sit there reading something awesome like Harry Potter fighting with wands, running down the endless hallway, oh no, and there's Bellatrix... WATCH OUT SIRIUS! *RRRRRIIIIINNNGGGG* I jump, 5 feet because my phone rings. I might as well been jinxed because now I'm pretty sure I have to change my underwear.

This isn't even the normal stuff that scares me. When I'm driving and I see flashing lights out of nowhere, my heart goes into my stomach, I swerve for no reason in particular, then I realize there was a bump in the road behind me and the lights weren't even flashing. OR if it's nighttime and I forget I have dogs around me and one of them barks because of the TV and I go flying off the couch.... yeah that sucks and I get irrationally mad at the dog that was warning me from an alien invasion.

The worst though, I must admit has been something I have been afraid of since childhood. It's stupid, but I still have to have someone else do it for my fear is so intense.

Yes, people... popping open a cinnamon buns can.